


60 Minutes

by taciturnchild



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, but you sure can imagine them being super gay, happyish ending, i just wanna hug tyler ok, i think i got blurryface right, sorry if i screwed that up i wrote this in like an hour, tyler and josh are only friends no gayness in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 02:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6935746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taciturnchild/pseuds/taciturnchild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I wish that I could fly, way up in the sky,<br/>Like a bird so high,<br/>Oh I might just try,<br/>I wish that I could fly, way up in the sky,<br/>Like a bird so high,<br/>Oh I might just try,<br/>Oh I might just try."</p>
<p>Tyler is sad and Josh just wants Tyler to be happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	60 Minutes

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly, the summary is from the song "Bullet" by Hollywood Undead. Very depressing song but it fits the mood i guess? but thanks for reading im gonna look back at this and cringe and wanna delete it (trust me its gonna be so embarrassing when i read this a year or two later) secondly, i hope you enjoy this sad piece of writing, idk how good it is but im just letting out bottled up emotions 
> 
> thanks for reading!!

T-Minus 60 minutes.

 

_C'mon, keep it steady, Tyler. Make this perfect. Perfect for Josh, when you couldn't be perfect for him. Oh, fuck it!_

 

It's 1:35 A.M. Tyler is wide awake, fear gripping his insides as he writes sloppily. The fear of Josh walking in, finding out his plans, soiling his  _perfect fucking plans_ for tonight, to make the world a better place. He writes, trying to come up with words as quick as he can, before Josh realizes that Tyler isn't here anymore. Everything is a mess, the writing, the room, his life;  _why can't things be in order for once?_

 

**_Why bother leaving a note? You already know he doesn't care._ **

 

_Go away._

 

_**Why? You know it's true. No point in avoiding the inevitable.** _

 

_Go. Away._

 

The voices wouldn't leave his head. The constant pressure, the constant presence, everything. It haunts him. Torments him. A daily reminder that he will never be good enough, never good enough for Josh, for his family, for his fans, for anyone. His words and lyrics aren't good enough, his music can't justify anything.  _It isn't good enough. Nothing ever will be good enough._

 

_Music was an escape for me. Why is it so hard now to create and release what I'm feeling?_

 

Tyler couldn't fathom why these things didn't work like they used to. He remembers back in the early days of the band, when he wrote he felt so much better afterwards. But now? Nothing but hatred for what he wrote. After all, Tyler is best friends with his doubt. His worries. His imperfections. Everything that makes him so  _ugly_ , so _awful_. Why can't he ever be good for once? Good like Josh? 

 

_Josh,_

 

_Sometimes I wonder why you're still here. Why you stayed. Then I realized, it's because you pity me. Pity my poor self. You put up with me when I go into the darkness of my depression, when I hide away in the fear of anxiety, but you don't have the heart to leave me, because you don't want to be responsible for a death. But now? I realize I should just end myself, without a push from fact but from accusation._

 

**_Stop writing to him. He. Doesn't. Care. No one does. I am the only thing you need, the constant reassurance of how much of a failure, how pathetic you really are._ **

 

_Joshua Dun, this here is my final goodbye. Be free without my chains holding you down. There's seven billion people. This planet doesn't need me._

 

_Take care, don't do anything too drastic, okay?_

 

_Tyler_

 

* * *

 

 

T-Minus 30 minutes.

 

Josh jerked awake, hearing a door close. He laid back down, groaned, and rubbed his tired eyes. He looked over at the digital clock, reading 2:05 A.M. Sitting up, he swung his comforter off, and got out of bed, stretching. He knew that he wouldn't fall back asleep after being jerked like that. He walked out into the hallway, and down the hall to Tyler's room. Peeking his head in, he saw only an empty bed and a messy room. The desk was littered with crumpled paper balls, and pens.

 

Uneasiness filled Josh's inside, worrying about Tyler. The past week wasn't good; Tyler had been pushing himself away from everyone, hiding in isolation with his dangerous thoughts. Knowing the drill, Josh never invaded when moments like these since Tyler would fight him and create pointless arguments. Of course, Josh would always try to offer help, anything, to try to make Tyler somewhat happy. 

 

Walking into the kitchen-lounge area, Josh noticed a piece of folded paper by the keys. Rubbing his eyes once more walking over to the table, he picked up the note and opened it. Reading the smudged handwriting that seemed to be caused by possible tears, Josh started to move, things started to click. Not even grabbing a jacket, Josh ran outside and realized Tyler could be anywhere.

 

The words were imprisoned in his brain, in his eyelids. 

 

_Be free._

 

He couldn't be free without Ty. He couldn't. Tyler is what held him together, for Christ's sake! Tyler is the friend, the best friend that holds you down so you don't fly away into a never ending space of insanity. Tyler is that amazing, imperfect friend that tells you that everything will be okay, that everything in this world is imperfect, that everything makes mistakes, that you are  _human_ , that you're going to fall down, get beat up, but still come out on top with a smile on your face.

 

Oh, where is Tyler?

 

"Fuckin'... Tyler, where are you?" Josh whispered into the night.

 

Right then, a thought popped into his head.

 

_The bridge._

 

Everything clicked, and Josh made no hesitation to start running towards the bridge. Anxiety filled him, worrying about if Tyler is still alive, still here, still breathing. Negative thoughts filled his head, wondering if he was even going the right way, if Tyler was even at the bridge. What if he was somewhere else? What if he was still in the house? Maybe he's already dead, a bullet to the head, a slit throat, asphyxiation. 

 

_Stop thinking. Just keep pushing, he has to be at the bridge. He_ has _to be._

 

* * *

 

 

T-Minus 10 minutes.

 

"I wonder if Josh is awake. I wonder if he read the note. Maybe he read it, but just dismissed it? Oh, Josh, you're going to be so happy when I'm gone. . ."

 

Tyler thought aloud, it helped him think. When thinking in silence, his louder, negative thoughts took control and made him doing things he never wanted to do. He already learned that mistake this early morning, as blood dripped from his scalp, from scratching and trying to shut his head up. His fingers were caked in dry blood, the cool air drying it quickly. It hurt, Tyler thought, but it felt good during the heat of the moment.

 

He sat on the railing of the bridge where he sat, his legs dangling. He watched the stars above, the moon shining bright. It's so bright, he thought, it shines brighter than I ever will in this world. Shadows of his mind are shouting at him, telling him he's alone, that he should just jump off now, rather than waiting the full hour he promised to himself and Josh. Sure, Josh has no idea of this ticking time bomb, but it would be rude just to break the promise Tyler said, right?

"Oh, I'm so fucked up."

 

"What has Josh ever seen in me? What has anyone ever seen in me?"

 

"I can't keep my hands off, blood flows from my head due to stupid actions."

 

T-Minus 5 minutes.

 

"Why do I feel so nervous? I'm going to be happy.  _I'm going to be happy._ So why do I feel like this is wrong?"

 

Tyler kept mumbling to himself, the cold making him slur and shiver. His hands were numb, gripping the railing hard, despite the numbness. He rocked back and forth, things going in and out of his mouth, his mind. The thoughts clouding his mind, telling him just to drop the last 5 minutes and just  _jump_. Josh isn't here now, he wont be here ever. He's at the house, sleeping happily, he'll wake up and be happy.

 

Footsteps pounded on the concrete, making Tyler snap his head towards the sound, knocking him out of a daze.

 

It was Josh. Even from this far, Tyler could tell. Terror filled inside Tyler, scaring him.  _Josh isn't supposed to be here. He's supposed to be home, God dammit, just let me fucking die. Let me be fucking happy for once!_

 

"Tyler! Tyler, oh my god, please, get off the ledge, let me talk to you." Josh was panting, stumbling on his words from the cold. . . and from crying?

 

_I don't. . . I don't understand. Why is he crying? Shouldn't he be urging me to jump already, to give up, to make the world a better place?_

 

"Ty, listen to me. There may be billions of people in this world, but without you in it, it makes a world of billions of people that can't make me smile and laugh like you. A billion people could entertain me, humor me, but they wont ever make me laugh like you have. Make me smile like you have. You're fighting a war, I know you are, and you're slipping, but please,  _please_ , let me help you. Take my hand, I'll help fight, help you win this, beat this depression, everything!" 

 

**_He's lying, Tyler. Don't fall for his tricks._ **

 

"Josh. . . don't l-lie to me," He stuttered from the cold.

 

"I wouldn't ever lie to you. You know that. Please, take my hand, and come back over," Josh held out his hand, tears streaking his face.

 

_**Tyler. Don't. Jump, and you'll be free from all the chaos in your head.** _

 

"J-Josh. . . help me, I can't take him out. He won't leave me alone."

 

"Take my hand. I'll help you. We'll take him out together. I promise."

 

_**Be free, Tyler. Accept your fate of death.** _

 

With a shaking, ice cold hand, Tyler grabs Josh's hand. Instantaneously, Josh pulls Tyler over, and they fall to the ground, Josh being the cushion for the fall. Josh wraps his arms around Tyler, hugging him tightly, as if he were to disappear if let go. Sniffles escaped Josh, which then turned into sobs, because  _oh my God, Tyler, you're okay, you're here, you're not leaving anytime soon_. Shivering, Tyler accepted the hug, burying his face into Josh's chest, hearing his heart beat quickly. 

 

"Why are you here?" Tyler stumbled and murmured his words.

 

"Ty, do you not realize how much you mean to me? You're there when no one else is, when I can't come to my own sense, when I feel like I'm falling apart. Your lyrics speak to so many people on their own personal struggles, their lives!" 

 

_**Run away.** _

 

"He won't stop talking to me. He won't leave me alone, he keeps telling me to leave, to run, to jump, to end everything in my pathetic life! Josh,  _I'm going insane_!" 

 

Tyler was shaking, hyperventilating, and Josh couldn't think straight, his mind a frazzle, going haywire. Getting up carefully, holding Tyler in his arms, they start to walk back to the house where it was warm, and they could talk things out. Tyler mumbled incoherent words, words such as "blurryface" "insane" "stop" would come out semi-clear. Holding his weak body close, Josh rubbed his shoulder, whispering words of love and kind, telling him how much he cared about his beloved friend.

 

_**You win this time, Tyler Joseph.** _

 

T-Minus 5 seconds.

5.

4.

**Cancel Suicide?**

**Yes _ No _**

3.

2.

**Yes X No _**

 

**SUICIDE CANCELED.**


End file.
